7/15 - Hour after Family Bar-be-que (they need to back off!)

My family doesn't know boundaries. But I guess no one does these days. All I know is that I have to learn to speak my mind. I am there "good little angel". But in reference to Kelly Clarkson's song 'Dark Side', "Everybody's got a dark side; do you love me; can you love mine?" I guess they don't love mine, because whenever I show it, I pay, big time.
But I feel as if know one knows me yet. I am a physically and mentally fragile girl who hasn't learned her place in this world yet. Outcast, or Popular?
I fit more into Outcast, but unlike any other high self-esteemed teen, I actually want to be Popular. Always have. But I guess the saying 'Patience is a virtue.' is true.
No one really knows me. They don't understand the physical pain I have been in for the past 4 days, and they don't take under consideration the continuous dream I keep having. There is an eerie underlining meaning to it that has to be true, because the voices I hear during it are oddly familiar, but in a distant memory or past life. I just feel there is something special about me that will show soon. But for now, I'm just 'lil angel Maddie. In almost unbearable pain, but know one cares, I guess that's karma. I just want their help. Is it too much to ask?
...
I guess so...